A Conversation with a CISO I met through LinkedIn. Know People.
Is anyone else feeling this way? When I hear the word “connect” I instantly believe that we are in some sort of real connection. Even if it’s online. I bristle at the message I receive from LinkedIn that says “Thank you for connecting with me.” I don’t know a thing about the person. We’ve not actually met. How do I consider this a real connection? It doesn’t sit right with me.
To battle my discontent, I’ve included a message in a LinkedIn outreach inviting people to conversation. I simply want to get to know you. I’m not looking for anything other than to connect. Yes, I am building my coaching business, but that’s not the point. This is an experiment. One in establishing a connection through conversation that is rewarding for both of us.
I was delighted when John, a CISO at a company in North Carolina took me up on my invitation. When we dove in over Zoom, I asked him where he was from? He immediately let me know that early in his youth he lived in New York City where I live. He told me about the many places he’s lived in all over the country. I learn where his interests and career took him. I find out so much about his family.
I ask John if he could share with me about his role as CISO and as a leader. He makes it real for me. When I asked how he gets leadership to buy-in to critical recommendations, he responds by saying,
“It’s not about the technology, it’s about the people.”
You have to “Speak Human”
Put it into everyday human terms.
He went on to say, outside of knowing tech you must understand people, know about social sciences, and have great cultural awareness. When you communicate with other cultures tailor to the culture. Adapt to the context.
He’d studied the difference between Western and Eastern cultures. In the East, it’s even more important to show your identity – meaning you demonstrate you are who you say you are. Another piece is access. Can you get to where you say you can get to?
I shared with John that I was to advise how my US based clients could build rapport with their new Chinese counterparts. I relied on the wisdom of a former client from China. He said, “It is most important to take the time to get to know the other person. Be sure to ask them “Where are you from?” It opens up the conversation for them to share more about their background.
Have you noticed that in many places in the US, you are routinely asked “What do you do?” rather than “Where are you from?” The first is to establish status. Where the second shows interest in the other person and their background.
This conversation was nothing what I had expected to hear from someone involved in cutting edge technology. We covered a lot of ground here including his own management style that it’s most important to get everyone on the team to be heard.
I am happy to have had this conversation. One that shares similar values. And one that provided surprises too.
