Back in the day, when I’d go on sales calls with my team, I’d ask if I they’d take the lead and that I’d be “Second Chair“- relating to the position of an instrument in an orchestra.
As “Second Chair” I’d take the position of listening to not only what was being said, but what was unsaid. I’d listen and attune to how people are feeling at any given time.
I’d check all the people in the room for signs of concurrence or objection. I’d check the physical expression of each client to see if it was congruent to what one was saying verbally. When we’d get back to the office to debrief the call, I’d offer this intelligence from my reading the room.
It astounded my colleagues. They had been focusing on what they were saying and not perceiving the full response of the potential client both verbal and non-verbal. It is important to take the emotional temperature of the room.
- Be fully present.
- Be well prepared with comments and questions.
- Rehearse (therefore being able to focus on the client more than your content)
- Take your time
- Use the pause to listen for reaction – mostly non-verbal. Silence is a gift.
- Give room for the client to respond and react
It reminds me of what Miles Davis said. “It’s not what I played. It’s what I didn’t play, man.” As an improviser, his music had pauses and timing (syncopation) that created the beautiful music we learned to love from him. He was present. He was listening.
